i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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