Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
