yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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