Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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