Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
