just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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