guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
