it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
