It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
