Can Purell be used as lube?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
