Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
