yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
