Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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