my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
