sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
