i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
