So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
