apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
