Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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