I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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