It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
