never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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