At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
