can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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