I'm drive I can fine osifer
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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