We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize