You work out of a Hotel?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
