life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
