Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
