As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
