So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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