i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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