I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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