ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
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Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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