Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
