So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
