I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
