good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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