This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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