I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
