I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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