So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
