I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
