I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
