adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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