Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
