So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
