I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
