cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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