I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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