Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
