The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
