youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
