I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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