That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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