3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
