Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
