You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
