you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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