i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize