I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
